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When a loved one of someone you know passes away, it’s a nice gesture to go to the funeral. Grief shared is grief lessened, and it makes a difference to the family when people come to show their support. Sometimes, though, it’s not possible to attend. Maybe you’re not able to reach it because you’re too far away, or maybe you can’t get off work for the funeral. Whatever the reason, you can still show the family you care by offering support in other ways.

  • Ask if they are live-streaming the funeral. If you can’t be there, perhaps you can view the live-stream and feel like you are a part of this important day. Asking the family about this option is a way to let them know that you wish you could be there.
  • Send flowers. It’s such a traditional gesture, yet still so poignant. You can send flowers to the funeral as a way of showing you’re there in spirit, or you can send a plant or tree to the family after the funeral, to keep in memory of their loved one.
  • Mail a card. Mailing something may seem like an old-fashioned gesture, but it is a nice thing to do for the family. When you mail a card, especially with a heartfelt sentiment written inside, it gives the family something to keep and remember your loving support.
  • Send a meal. Practical help is always a kind thing to do after a loss. You can send food or a gift card for food delivery, or you can find another way to lend practical support, perhaps by bringing paper products or offering to run an errand.
  • Make a monetary donation. Pay attention to the obituary, and if the family requests donations instead of flowers, honor their wishes. You can also choose to make a donation of your own volition, to a charity you feel would honor their loved one.
  • Check on the family after the initial wave of support dies down. Immediately after a death in the family, there’s a flurry of support. After all, is said and done, though, families often have needs that go unmet. Ask your friend if there’s anything you can do to help, or simply go for a visit, and provide a listening ear.
  • Send a memento. If you’re skilled at crafting, you can create a memento to honor the person who has died. If that’s not your skill set, it’s just as meaningful to purchase a memorial gift and send it to the family.
  • Volunteer in honor of the person who has died. Whether alongside the family or on your own, volunteering in someone’s honor is one of the most meaningful gestures you can make. It’s a beautiful way to show your support by helping the family to remember their loved one and the values that person

Catholic Cemeteries of the Diocese of San Jose is committed to providing a sacred place where families can remember loved ones in a peaceful and hope-filled setting. We welcome you and your family to visit our properties and experience the peace of these prayerful places, and we’re happy to answer any questions you may have. We have three locations: Calvary Catholic Cemetery in San Jose, Gate of Heaven Cemetery in Los Altos, and St. John the Baptist Cemetery in Milpitas. If you’d like to know more about our properties, or you need to know where to send flowers, you can contact us through our website, or call Calvary at 833-428-0379, Gate of Heaven at 833-304-0763, or St. John the Baptist at 833-428-0379.

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